Friday, November 27, 2009

My Testimony - Jeremy Klumper

When I was young probably about 7, I was exposed to pornography for the first time. As I grew older with more exposure through my own will, I fed my addiction as often as I could find it. What started out as pictures in magazines turned into movies, and internet later on. The only way I can explain the fix is the way it made me feel, the warmth, the feeling that I was needed and it also put my mind in crazy places doing crazy things that for some reason made me feel like I was on cloud 9.

When I first started seeing my soon to be wife, my fix turned into the real deal. For some while this seemed to take care of my addiction and lessened it. Problem being the enemy knew that it wouldn’t take much to get a hold of me knowing my walk with Jesus was pretty much scarce. And low and behold he capitalized on it and drug it out for a very long time.

Its crazy how the enemy can make you reach even further into darkness for what we think will bring us satisfaction. When I was about 22 years old I was diagnosed with severe depression and severe anxiety. I was put on prescription drugs and tried to deal with it on my own. As long as I was taking my medications I seemed to be fine and feeling for the most part fulfilled.

Through out the next couple of years I battled taking my medication and dealing with ordinary everyday life. I for some reason thought that smoking marijuana occasionally was ok also. Not an everyday thing but occasionally. You know just to take the edge off. Or at least that is what I would tell myself.

When I was 26, I was under a lot of stress at work and was bringing it home with me. I had stopped taking my medications and was tired of the ups and downs and the feelings that it wasn’t doing what it was supposed to. So I started searching for a fix that would do that for me. Low and behold the enemy knew just what to prescribe.

The place where I was working was full of drugs. You name it and they either had it on them or the could run home and get it.

I told a guy what I was looking for and he showed me exactly what would fix this.
I was welcomed to the wonderful world of methamphetamines. What I didn’t realize until it was too late was that you can be addicted after the first time you use it. I also didn’t realize that you would need the fix very frequently and it wasn’t cheap. Of course it took a hold of me like nothing I had ever experienced in my life time.

I knew I had one roadblock that would keep this addiction very hard to carry out and that would be my wife. You see when we met she made it very clear to me that she didn’t like drugs, she had never done drugs and she would not be a part of anyone that was doing drugs. This was definitely going to be a difficult thing to overcome.

My solution was to keep it from her and do it when I wasn’t around her. Aka lying through my teeth. I would tell her I was going here and there and doing this and doing that. When in fact I was just leaving her presence so I could do more. Let me tell you she is a very smart woman who without a ton of help from supposed friends and tons of lies, I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did.

My next roadblock was trying to keep it from my family and close relatives. It was hard and as time went on the more comfortable and sloppy I got with trying to keep it a secret.

I found out one more detail of this wonderful addiction, that the meth would intensify my pornography addiction which felt like a thousand times worse than before. So I not only had a new addiction but it intensified and complimented my other worst enemy.

After being a Meth user for all of 3 years and spending $1,200 a month for this wonder drug that made my life a total disaster, the Good Lord started to break me down and started to make me realize that he was the answer I was looking for and he was the fix I needed all along.
You see methamphetamines is a drug with such a powerful hold on you that you have to seek rehab to kick it. I want to share with you today that the Lord gave me the strength to quit cold turkey. No relapses, no major break downs and with only slight side effects that with prayer was fixed. The other awesome thing is he offered me full forgiveness for my sins and has since then changed my life forever. PRAISE GOD!!!!

He also gave me the strength to do one more unthinkable task, tell my WIFE. I have done some really hard things in my life but this was the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I knew this was going to kill her inside an I knew there was a chance she would leave and take my children with her. I felt like I was telling her that I had been having an affair on her for three years with another woman. Don’t get me wrong, I was really having an affair with two addictions.

She, in her Loving Heart, found a way to forgive me and my stupidity. I know now that there was a lot of help there from the Lord. I tell her now that if she can put up with me through all of this, she is stuck with me forever. I love her to death and wouldn’t trade her for the world.

I Thank God so much and I owe my life to him for everything he has done for me. He has shown my family and I so many blessings and miracles that I have lost track of how many. The best part of this is he continues to provide for us and show us the way to live.

I know that I have broken every one of the ten commandments either physically or mentally. The best part and most comforting thing to me is that Jesus Christ died on the cross for yours and my sins combined. Ask for his forgiveness and change the way we live - not for ourselves but for him who died for us in our place -and we will live for ever with Him and Our Father in Heaven for Eternity.

Have you ever really thought about that? I mean really thought. No matter what we have done up to today, right now, we can still be forgiven. That blows my mind. I look at my life and think of all the terrible things I’ve done and get chills thinking that I have been forgiven. So think about that and digest that and see if you think that you have done anything that God’s Grace can't fix. I will be the first to tell you there is nothing too big for our God. Try him. He will show you.

Measure yourself to his commandments and see if you need someone to save you from eternal damnation. I don’t know about you but I’m not a gambler. I cant wait to get to Heaven, I hope you feel the same way.

Your Brother in Christ
Jeremy Klumper

1 comment:

  1. Jeremy, your testimony reached down and touched my very soul. I have been addicted to pornography and sex for about 40 years. Yeah, thats right, 40 years! It has destroyed my marriages and relationships, and I have made so many promises to myself and other people in my life that I would quit, and I did for a very short time, but the devil knew it had corrupted my soul and even taken over my very life. I am a Christian and have been all my life, and that is why I am filled with shame and guilt all the time. I think of what Jesus did for me and the price He paid for my forgiveness and eternal life, and yet I am living a double-life. I dont even know why I am writing this, except now I know I am not alone and that other people have gone through this same horrible addiction.